dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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