hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
