You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
