don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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