I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I party with great urgency now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
