I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
