sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
