And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
