How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize