My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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