He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
