I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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