roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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