yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
