Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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