It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
