I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize