remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize