He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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