i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
