is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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