You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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