I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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