Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
