We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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