google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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