2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
