If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
