You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and she was petting her beer can
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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