You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.