you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
