Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.