Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.