im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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