Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
