One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize