also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize