He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize