i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
