I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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