What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
