Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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