I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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