i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
