Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
