Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
