Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
