hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Randomize
