Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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