Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
