Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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