There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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