No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
