Screwed.edu
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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