Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
