I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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