My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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