if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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