Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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