singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low