"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.