apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.