It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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