Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
