i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
