:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
